Guest Blog by Cristin Frey
Stress is normal. It’s a reaction to any change in our lives. And believe it or not, some stress is even good for you. Good stress is called ‘eustress’ and can be things like getting a promotion, getting married, having a baby, or going on vacation. It can motivate you, help you to meet deadlines, and focus our energy. Bad stress is called ‘distress’ and can come from things like divorce, getting fired from a job, or a death of a loved one. Too much distress over time can cause serious health effects.
Very often, we create our own stress, simply from our ways of thinking. We tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. When something bad happens, you may tell yourself that you should have done it differently and you may linger on blaming yourself. Or you may get upset over things that are out of your control. This only leads to guilt which feeds the stress. Instead, understand that the past is the past. You cannot change it. You can only change how you think about it. Try focusing on the present. Ask yourself what can you do NOW instead of what you should have done.
Stress affects all of us differently and we also each handle stress differently.
Here are 10 simple things that I do when I get stressed:
- COLOR!
Coloring or doodling helps to focus your mind. When you’re coloring, you are using repetitious movements and concentrating on what’s in front of you. This is called mindfulness and is a practice used by many to get into a state of zen.
- EAT COMFORT FOOD
For me, it’s grilled cheese and tomato soup. I don’t know why, but this combination tends to bring me back to my childhood days before there were bills and other adult stressors. Everyone’s comfort food may be different but even if it’s something unhealthy, as long as it’s eaten in moderation, it can help you to relax. I also don’t diet. Dieting is stressful! I tend to follow the 80/20 rule where 80% of what I eat is healthy which leaves 20% for the not-so-healthy foods. Then, I don’t have the guilt which causes stress. You can find more of my favorite recipes and much more by following me on Pinterest. Click here to check it out!
- DRINK TEA
A lot of the experts recommend Chai tea, but since I’m not a fan of the taste, I drink Stress tea by Yogi. There’s just something about holding a hot cup of tea while in my jammies that soothes my stress. I even include a bag of this tea when I send out my coloring book orders to customers.
- MUSIC
Music has an effect on us. Even certain sounds can calm us or scare us. My personal favorites are Damien Rice, Norah Jones, or nature sounds like thunderstorms, rain, or the beach. You can check out my personal playlist here on YouTube. Be sure to click on Subscribe to get updates when I add new videos.
- LIGHT A CANDLE
I don’t know what it is about having candles lit, but it always adds to the ambiance of a calming environment. Just be sure not to get so relaxed that you fall asleep while they’re burning. There are even battery-operated candles you can use that look and smell like real candles.
- GO BRALESS
I don’t know about you, but the first thing I do when I get home from somewhere is to remove my bra. Societal expectations for women are to wear these constricting, uncomfortable undergarments, but when I’m at home, I can be as comfortable as I want and that includes the comfort of my saggy boobs without wires, push-ups, lace, or frills.
- PILE UP THE PILLOWS
Nothing shouts ‘relax’ more than a pile of pillows to lounge in. Gather up all of your fluffy cushions and pile them into one place. It can be your bed, the couch, or even a corner on the floor. Now you have your very own pile of soft cuddles to loaf into.
- GO OFFLINE
As someone who runs a business through technology, I’m aware that this tip is easier said than done. If you can’t unplug completely, at least turn off the notification sounds or pop-ups on your mobile devices. When I want to work or relax, it’s something I HAVE to do so I can focus on one thing at a time. We don’t want to be slaves to our online accounts. Learn to control your social media instead of allowing your social media to control you.
- JUST JAMMIES
I’ll admit that some days I go from wearing one set of pajamas intoanother set of pajamas for the day. Other days, I prefer to wear yoga pants or leggings. I can’t help it, I like to be comfortable. Just knowing that I have nowhere to go for the day and I can stay at home while being cozy, helps to relieve my stress. Make sure your outfit is complete with silly socks, fluffy slippers, and an old snuggly robe!
- PRACTICE BREATHING
Do you think you know how to breathe? Do you even ever think about breathing? Try this…. Put your arm out in front of you and make a fist. Make your fist as tight as you possibly can and hold it. Hold it…. Hold it…. Now, notice what happened to your breathing. You either stopped breathing or your breathing became very shallow. This is what happens to our breathing when we get stressed. This will trigger the fight or flight response because our bodies think we’re suffocating. When we go into fight or flight response, our brain dumps a ton of chemicals into our bodies such as cortisol, adrenaline, insulin, and epinephrine. This causes us to lose the ability to relax. Learning how to breathe and breathe deeply is one of the easiest ways to calm down quickly. One breathing exercise I do is called diaphragmatic breathing (or blowfish breathing). This technique uses your abdomen to breathe instead of your chest (which is how you breathe naturally and involuntarily). It takes effort and some practice to learn how to breathe with your diaphragm. After doing this technique, many people report feeling sleepy afterwards. That’s because it’s the opposite of the flight or fight effect and relaxes and calms us. If you need help learning how to breathe, here are some guided exercises I’ve used to practice my breathing –
Abdominal Breathing Practice and Guided Visualization
BONUS TIP!
Remember earlier I mentioned that we cause a lot of our own stress? Essentially, it is up to you if you are going to view something as stressful or not. Things, alone, are not stressful. It’s your perception of them that makes them stressful. I took that idea and created my adult coloring book which is Rated N for ‘NOT for children” as it has many cathartic profanities in it. It’s full of hilarious sweary sayings that are perfect for reminding yourself that not everything needs to be stressful. Combining this with the relaxing act of coloring, makes it the best way to destress. You can check it out or read the reviews by clicking here.
So there you have it! Learning how to relax is a skill. It takes practice. Don’t worry about how well you’re doing these techniques or if you’re doing them right or wrong. Practice what you’ve learned and it becomes easier to do each time. Also, here’s a bonus tip…. remember to laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine but do you know why? It’s because if we can laugh at a stressful situation, our brain no longer sees it as a threat. A good laugh releases tense muscles, speeds more oxygen into your system and lowers your blood pressure. It stimulates the immune system, improves breathing, and regulates your heartbeat. It even helps if you force or fake a laugh!
Now, go try one or two of these techniques and let us know in the comments if it worked. Also, share ways you’ve found to beat stress. If you know of someone who would benefit from these ideas, please share this post with them!
Cristin April Frey
